Mathematical nerds would have you believe in the laws of probability. Equal probability, bell curves, and averages are supposedly how the dice work.  Of course, they are all fools. There exists many ways to "charge" the dice with positive energy to get the good rolls you want. 

Dice tend to accumulate positive and negative energy. Positive energy gives good rolls and negative energy gives bad rolls. Another key to good dice rolls is mental thought. The mind can generate powerful mental waves that can control the roll of the dice. The will of the roller is one of the best techniques for dice rolling. The singular "a die" is used when providing information however most  information pertains to the plurar "dice" as well. Some suggestions are in conflict with other suggestions. Choose the ones that work best for you and ignore the other ones.

WHEN PURCHASING DICE

The first set of dice you purchase will be the most lucky no matter how old and decrepted they get.

When purchasing a die, roll as many dice of that type as many times as possible. Usually, you should use a minimum number of dice as there are sides to one of the die (i.e. 6 dice for 6-siders) AND a maximum number
of dice that you can get your hands on.  Usually, you should roll a minimum number of times as there are sides to one of the die (i.e. 6times for 6-siders) AND a maximum number of times until the store employees ask that you quit.

When purchasing a crystal die, try to get one with air bubbles in it. They work better.


WHEN NOT USING DICE OUTSIDE GAME PLAY

When not playing, keep the die with you wherever you go so it will bond with you and thus give you higher rolls.

When not playing, hide the die so nobody can ruin them.


WHEN NOT USING DICE DURING GAME PLAY

When not using dice, line them up from largest to smallest or from smallest to largest. This allows the positive energy to flow evenly through the dice.

When not using a die, have the highest number facing up. The energy to roll the high number may flow upward.

When not using a die, have the highest number facing down. The energy to roll the high number may flow downward.

When not using a die, don't let different colors touch.

When not using a die, leave it jumbled with the other dice. Randomorganization gives totally random results.

BEFORE ROLLING DICE

Before rolling a die, chant. Chanting will ease unlucky spirits.

Before rolling a die, ask a philosophical rhetorical question such as "What if I needed a (the number you want)?" Dice seem to respect philosophical people because they feel that they are on the same intellectual plane of consciousness.

Before rolling a die, say "this one's for..." and name a person, place or thing. The diew may give a better roll if it thinks it's for somebody other than you.

Before rolling a die, pray to whatever god you wish to guide the die. If praying to a god for a good die roll is a tad blaspheme or evil to your religious beliefs, then just pick a fictitious deity of luck and ask him to guide the die (that would be more fun anyway).

Before rolling a die, kiss it. If the die is sentient, it will know you care and thus give you better results.

Before rolling a die, burp, fart, or do some other disgusting thing to it just to show the die who is in charge. Humiliation is great incentive for a die.

Before rolling a die, place it in a body cavity such as an ear, nose, mouth, or worse. Then you should begin to tremble while humming before releasing the die. This will charge the die with your own personal positive life-force energy.

Before rolling a die, twist it so that the positive energy is squeezed out to the sides where it is need most.

Before rolling a die, the longer you shake it the more random the result.

WHEN ROLLING DICE

When rolling a die, always roll it the same way.

When rolling a die, put a "back-roll" spin on the die when releasing. This causes the die to roll back towards you releasing negative energy.

When rolling a die, spin it on one of its corners like a top. The longer it spins, the better the roll as it absorbs positive energy.

When rolling a die, follow through with the roll as if you're wielding a weapon in an attack.

When rolling a die, shake the die in your palms, then toss it by pushing the top palm away from yourself. Topping it off with a strong comment like "Halelujah" also helps.

WHEN ROLLING DICE (ELEMENTAL POWER)

Rolling a die near a lit candle will give the die the power of elemental fire. If you can roll the die through the flame, it will receive more elemental power.

Rolling a die through water will give the die the power of elemental water. If you store the die in water before rolling it, it will receive more elemental power.

Rolling a die with rocks will give the die the power of elemental earth.  If you rough-up the die with rocks prior to use, it will receive more elemental power.

Rolling a die upwards into the sky will give the die the power of elemental air. If you blow on the die before rolling it, it will receive more elemental power.

Rolling a die with ice will give the die the power of elemental ice. If you freeze the die before the game, it will receive more elemental power.

WHILE A DIE IS ROLLING

While a die is rolling, look away or you might accidently move it via telekinesis.

While a die is rolling, concentrate on the number you require to get it via telekinesis.

ITEMS TO USE WITH DICE

Place the die in a microwave for a number of seconds equal to the highest score. The microwaves will super charge the die with techo-energy. Note that metallic dice should NOT be used; only plastic dice. Also note that your dice could melt (especially 100-sided dice).

When not in use, keep the dice in the freezer to keep them cool. Cool dice give cool rolls.

When not in use, place a die in a pyramid. A pyramid focuses positive energy.

When not in use, dunk the die in alcohol (preferably expensive) so it may lose its seriousness and act in a more fun manner.

When not in use, place a die with a crystal. A crystal captures positive energy and will conduct it to the die.

When not in use, place a die in the center of a pentagram which is in a circle. All gamers should already know the great energy that a pentagram can draw.

When not in use, place a die with lucky items such as a lucky coin, rabbit's foot, four-leaf clover, luck stones, or runes.

When not in use, place the die amongst dead insects. The life energy of the insects will be absorbed into the die.

When not in use, guard a die from evil energy with some form of guardian such as a favorite miniature or stuffed animal.

Before rolling a die, shake it in a special cup so the die doesn't come into direct contact with you. You may be accidently sending out negative energy that could directly influence the die roll. A cup will screen this out. Note that the more exotic the cup, the better the roll seems to be. A tankard is recommended.

When rolling a die, roll the die on/in some type of special surface or container such as a mat or box. A familiar dice area will bring better results because the dice will consider it a safe haven (like their storage home). A computer mouse pad is a good example of a mat.

OTHER HELPFUL HINTS

Roll a die until you get a series of low scores to rid the die of bad rolls.  Then during the game, the die will roll a series of high numbers.

Never use the same die in succession. Rotate the die with dice of the same type.

Never let another person touch or use your die. Never touch or use somebody elses die.

Always keep a set of special dice (one for each type) set aside for special rolls that must succeed. These dice should only be used a couple of times during a session. Also, nobody should come in contact with them except for the owner.

Pick a die out for a certain task and only use it for a certain task (examples: initiative, damage, to-hit, saves, proficiency checks, etc.). Nobody likes to change jobs all the time and a die is no different. A die that knows what it is suppose to do will tend to do it more often then not.

If a die fails to give satisfactory results after a couple game sessions, it must be punished. There are many ways to punish the die. Some examples: throw the die very hard into something very hard, ostracize it from the other dice, stick it in the washing machine.

If a die fails to give satisfactory results after a few game sessions, it must be banished to a lonley place such as a drawer. It may come back in a few weeks, months, or years (depending on the level of offense) if it straightens up.

If a die fails to give satisfactory results after many game sessions, it must be destroyed as an "example" to the other dice. All the other dice should be lined up with their high number facing the guilty die. Then the guilty die should be destroyed by any means necessary although a sledge hammer followed by melting it down is recommended. Typically, the other dice will be scared enough to behave properly for awhile at least. The tool of destruction and even the destroyed die should be kept nearby as a reminder.

A die that is deemed lucky should be named. Without recognition, the die may fail you.

If a die showed outstanding achievement that can only be classified as phenomenal (i.e. so lucky that it is eerie), then the die must be preserved and enter royalty status. First, the die must be entrusted to a guardian. Then it should be placed in a special container like a  velvet-lined ebony box. If you have more than one special die, then they all may be placed in the container. The container should be engraved with something fitting like "Die of Champions". Of course, the container must have a lock and at least two keys so if one key-keeper goes mad then there is a backup. The container should be stored in a secure place like a safe or a safety-deposit box. Only during critical gaming sessions may the container be unlocked and the special die used and then only during crucial moments. To decide if the die should be used, the group should vote and only by an unanimous decision can the die be used. When the die is removed from the container, it can only be handled by a person wearing gloves (preferably fine material like silk or leather). The die should only be rolled on fine material like an ivory plaque. After its use, it should be returned to its container.

 *** DISCLAIMER ***

 Information presented in this article is for amusement only. Advice oriented information is not to be taken as legal consultation or legal service, but as suggestions and examples of real-world or hypothetical models. Always consult a lawyer for legal and lawful guidance. Any damage caused do to information presented here is the fault of the person(s) who did the damage. Any wrath of your god(s) do to this article is also not the fault of the author. Dangerous powersurges or accidental psionic ability is also not the fault of theauthor.


P.S. How do you win at a Role Playing Game? If you roll a die and it lands on and ege or point, you've won the game. You may no longer play that RPG anymore.