It was gaming night at Brian's house,
The burgers were a-fryin,
Beers set out for the players,
And vodka set out for Brian.

Marcus was an Elven knight,
The Good The Bold The Gaudy,
With a habit of smashing doors,
His fighting style was rowdy.

Reginald was a Fighter-Mage,
Who loves offensive spells,
Enjoy the women liberally,
He'd spend some time in hell.

Theresa was a roguish type,
She liked to play the game,
Gold's just a way to keep score,
But I like it just the same.

As so the campaign began,
A dungeon romp to be sure,
To the world of reality,
A gaming night's the cure.

Soon the game was in swing,
The players getting rough,
Their battle cry carried on,
They shouted, "They're not that tough!"

Hyped up on beer and burger grease,
Two food groups they loved most,
Their confidence was running high,
And the party began to boast.

But then the tide of luck did turn,
The party met with a terrible fright,
Had they met their untimely end?
There were Giants to their right!

Outnumbered by ten to three,
The party would save the day,
These Giants are immune to fire?
Reginald cried out in dismay.

Soon the party was in trouble,
Marcus was the last man,
The giants were down to two,
The knight devised a plan.

I wish to charge the first giant,
To use my lance in motion.
Then as I ride past my prey,
I'm gonna quaff a potion.

Brian smiled the DM smile,
For a round, the moves are plenty,
To charge and hit and then a quaff,
You need a natural twenty.

Marcus then reached into his bag,
His eager hands did fly,
He drew forth a wooden box,
For inside was THE DIE.

THE MIGHTY DIE that never failed,
To produce the rolls in need,
It had saved them in games before,
But rarely was it freed.

Marcus opened the wooden box,
And inside was a sack,
A velvet bag of deep blue,
To keep THE DIE'S luck intact.

He drew forth THE DIE into the light,
From his lips such loving words did pour,
Had he called his wife such words,
He'd not be divorced times four.

I need a twenty oh faithful one,
From you who never fails,
And he made a grand gesture,
From which THE DIE did sail.

It bounced and rolled across the table,
Clattering all the way,
The players all held their breath,
Would THE DIE save the day?

The rolling came to an end,
A shout came like thunder's rumble,
Not from the players, but from Brian

THE MIGHTY DIE had fumbled!

Download mp3 file(right click, save as)