I decided to make a thread with some of my fluff writing, poetry and parody songs.


The Portrait
Based on “The Picture” by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow
Lyrics by Roger (Alacrity) Briant

Boy:
Living my life as an undead,
Different girl every night just to keep fed,
I have feared the sunlight,
For thirty days.
Been fueling up on hot blood and misery,
Though I know a good girl that missed me,
Lord I hate being in this vampire way.
I saw your portrait today,
Wished I could cry away,
I can’t look at you while I’m drinking blood from her,
I saw your portrait today,
Wished I could cry away,
I can’t look at you while I’m drinking blood from her,
Oooo.

Girl:
I saw you last night in the old crypt,
Nobody knew but the word slipped,
And those hard sharpen teeth tell me, something just ain’t right,
I’ve had a hammer and stake for a long time,
Stirring up my courage with cheap wine,
Know that I must face you this damn night,
I put your portrait away,
I know you are not really him,
I can’t look at you when I put the stake in,
I put your portrait away,
I know you are not really him,
I can’t look at you when I put the stake in,

I saw you yesterday in the graveyard, (Girl)
I knew it gonna happen if it went this far, (Boy)
Since you’ve been gone my world’s been dark and grey, (Together)
You cornered me in my last hideout, (Boy)
I half hoped that I could turn you about, (Girl)
I was bringing a cleric, (Girl)
You were never to see me this way! (Boy)

Together:
I think about all of the damned time,
My love for you still plagues upon my mind,
I can’t understand how you can live life this way.
I found your portrait today,
You’ll never change your ways,
I just came to say I love you, just one last time.
I found your portrait today,
You’ll never change your ways,
I just came to say I love you, just one last time.
I just came to say I love you, goodbye my love.

Complicated
Based on the song of the same name by Avril Lavigne

Uh huh, Rules say this.
Uh huh, uh huh, that's the way it is
The Rules say this,
Uh huh, uh huh that's the way it is

Back off, whatcha you talking bout?
You’re wrong, of that I have no doubt,
And if you would just let it slide,
You’d realize,
I liked the rules so much more,
Before Gary was shown the door,
And you’re talking to me, three point five, it does not jive

Books stacked high, and I don’t know why,
You want us to play, I want it away,
You think it’s so cool, It looks likes a mess to me,
Tell me,

Why do you have to go and make rules so complicated?
I read the new rules and my head starts to feel like it’s over-inflated,
Rules like this, you roll
And you roll, and you go, and you sneak,
And you creep through the charts, and the degrees of Difficulty,
Opportunity attacks I’m never gonna find this worth it.
No no no

You bring over a new character,
Rolled up this Monk/sorceror,
With all these skills, and you’ve got the feats,
You’re killing me,
Magic is alphabetized,
Arcane maybe it’s divine,
You know Marketing’s in charge,
When you’re spend large,

Books stacked high, and I don’t know why,
You want us to play, I want it away,
You think it’s so cool, It looks likes a mess to me,
Tell me,

Why do you have to go and make rules so complicated?
I read the new rules and my head starts to feel it’s over-inflated,
Rules like this, you roll
And you roll, and you go, and you sneak,
And you creep through the charts, and the degrees of Difficulty,
Opportunity attacks I’m never gonna find this worth it.
No no no

Back off, whatcha you talking bout?
You’re wrong, of that I have no doubt,
And if you would just let it slide,
You’d realize,

Books stacked high, and I don’t know why,
You want us to play, I want it away,
You think it’s so cool, It looks likes a mess to me,
Tell me,

Why do you have to go and make rules so complicated?
I read the new rules and my head starts to feel it’s over-inflated,
Rules like this you roll
And you roll, and you go, and you sneak,
And you creep through the charts, and the degrees of Difficulty,
Opportunity attacks I’m never gonna find this worth it.
No no no

Why do you have to go and make rules so complicated?
I read the new rules and my head starts to feel it’s over-inflated,
Rules like this you roll
And you roll, and you go, and you sneak,
And you creep through the charts, and the degrees of Difficulty,
Opportunity attacks I’m never gonna find this worth it.
No no no