Had an Innmate ask me recently where-o-where I might have picked up my insane fascination for licking faces so I figured, what with the year coming to a close and such, I might as well do some "attic-cleaning" and finally submit to you, the Innmates, the origins of Eol's facelicks...

Wanna hear it?

Welllll... lemme tell ya a little story, then...

The dreaded facelick came to be when my oldest daughter brought her very first "official" boyfriend home to meet me. I imposed this "rule" when she started getting interested in boy's that she wasn't allowed to date anyone who wouldn't come and meet us, listen to my "I can be your best friend or your worst nightmare" speech and shake my hand afterwards... Soooo, the time came when Jessica started really liking this kid named Luke and she finally got him to come over to the house for "the meeting".

She comes in the door and says - relatively quietly because she wasn't sure where exactly in the house I might be and didn't want me to hear, I expect - "Mom... I brought Luke over to meet you guys... Make sure Dad behaves..."

Unfortunately for Jess, I did hear her and, of course, since I wanted to make the right impression on this lad (and any others that may follow); I bellow "Woohoohoohoohooooo!" at the top of my lungs and charge for the door...

Jessica's screaming; "Daddy, no!!! Daddy no!!!"

Tammy's trying to say the same thing but is laughing too hard because, by this point, I've burst through the front yard and am in mid-leap!

I pounced that kid like Tigger pounced Pooh... think I might've even been wearing the same grin... So, here's this 13 year old kid gawking up at me all wide-eyed and freaked out and... *sluuuuuuurp*... I licked his face from chin to hairline and said; "Hi! I'm Jessica's dad! What's your name?"

The kid squirmed out from under me... might have blinked... and then hauled-butt back the way he came. Never did see Luke after that...

Daddy 1
Boys 0



Never underestimate the effectiveness of a facelick!

So much better than sitting there cleaning a rifle or something equally cliche. Pounce. Facelick. Done.

Does that mean that you are trying to scare off all the newbies when you facelick them?

Bad Eol...



And you know what? I probably wouldn't have come back either.


Not a facelick but:

I only brought one bf home when I was in HS (okay okay I only had -one- bf in HS... hush). I remember it was Memorial Day weekend and I had convinced him to come over and participate in the whole family BBQ deal. My dad had his best friend over too and they were in some other room, while Grant and I were in my room on my bed talking and holding hands.

Apparently this seemed like the ideal time to my father to show his 'friend' his gun collection. Walked past my door cocking a rifle rather non-challantly on his way back to the living room.

I didn't know Grant could get across a room so quickly.

After he broke up with me a few months later he ran into my dad at the local pizza and pool joint and had his friends sneak him out the fire alarm door instead of going out through the front door where he had to pass by my dad.



M.

Nah... It's a test, ya see?

Had li'l Lukey gotten up from that facelick, laughed it off, and hung around to get the speech, he would have passed.

Case in point, here... Jessica's current boyfriend (some 9 years after Luke, mind you) got facelicked and, without hesitating, licked my face in reply... Then shook my hand and got invited to Christmas dinner.

Anyway, where Innmates are concerned, it's kind of the same idea. If ya get pounced and facelicked around here and keep coming back, by the Gods, you've got what it takes to survive the other randomosity that goes on around here with scarcely a flinch... Besides, Innmates are yummy!

Did I pass?

M.

With flying colors...


Honestly, I don't think there are many Innmates at all who have "failed". Some reactions have been muuuuuch better than others, though.

I just went back and looked over my 'intro thread'

I almost feel a little unloved. You didn't facelick me.

I got the 'mod hat' greeting from you... 'Check out the recuritment page... enjoy your stay... blah blah... let me know if you have a question...'



But... you know... I think I'll live. We both know I have a major issue with spittle.

However at this point I don't think one facelick would scare me off despite the spittle.

M.


Welcome to the club, Meri.
E.

Umm... thanks?
*grabs a baby wipe and cleans off that mess*

NOW I'm official. Just... don't do it again.

M.

I like it. Great test. But I bet Jess didn't talk to you for a month after Luke. And I can just picture he pre-parent talk:
"Umm Yeah so my dad uh well he kinda licks my boyfriends when I bring them home." Jess
"What? Are you serious?" Soon to be victim
"Yeah, nevermind lets get this over with." Jess

...but she was royally torqued for a couple of hours, anyway.

My momma best momma.

... that I was here before Eol, and so didn't have to be "licked-in"

Eol should back lick people just to see if they woulda passed.

This may be me asking for punishment...

But in all due fairness, I didn't have a welcome thread... my first post was starting a game on the recruitment thread...

So let me be the first to say... or do rather...

*runs over to Eol, and facelicks him*

"I FACELICKED EOL BEFORE HE FACELICKED ME!!!"

This is by far the funniest thread I've come across on this board.