Let's face it; nerds get bullied. I was never a big kid; even today, I'm a fairly unimpressive 5'7", 135 pounds. So for me, self defense was a big thing, and still is today.

Today, though, I'm a bit more formidable that my looks give away. I have four years of American Kempo Karate and two years of Bujinkan Ninjitsu under my (orange) belt, and my training in the former is ongoing. I carry a knife (A Cold Steel Hatamoto) and pepper-spray (Vexor is my preferred brand) regularly, and am working towards a handgun license (a long, painful, and extremely annoying process in New York, but understandable, with one of the most heavily developed cities in the world just an hour away. And my uncle in New Hampshire has a Kimber Pro CDP II that he'll sell to me when I get it.)

But enough of my blathering. Tell me how y'all do it!

To be honest, I was bullied as well, because I was different... at a 'Christian' school, 3 years. I escaped it...or so I thought-but God was with me all along, keeping me from commiting suicide, sending a friend to talk to me to break the silence. I was ostrasized as well


Self defence-facades can be a wonderful thing sometimes, and ignoring things as best you can.

You know, it's kinda funny, in that way. I come from an orthodox Jewish background, but I personally have never felt very religious. The time I generally feel the most spiritual is when I train. "Blessed be the Lord that trains my hands for battle, and my fingers for war."

Ones background does not dictate the path, it is ones choices that you make to get you where you are today. As well as what you do with the circumstances you find yourself in.

It is always important in today’s society to understand the need to fend for yourself and not depend upon others to protect you. I learned long ago that law enforcement individuals cannot defend the individual but are many here to protect society as a whole. Therefore it is up to each person to find their own manner of preserving their life and their beliefs as they see fit.

I do not condone telling others how to live. If their way of life does not harm me or others then they are entitled to live in whatever manner they choose.

I am a Buddhist, and lead a spiritual life without the thought of god or the divine. Not saving I don’t believe there was some kind of intelligence behind the creation of man, just that I don’t believe there is an almighty God watching over each and every one of us. So in a sense it is still up to each of us to fend for ourselves once again.

Now, I don’t want to turn this into a religious debate so let’s leave it at that. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs and I will not be little anyone for what it is they believe in. Faith in anything is a wonderful thing.

Now on to the subject of defense, I was never a large person though I did play some football in HS. I was not a starter and not very good. I moved a lot as a child and hardly made friends but bullies seemed to like picking on me. So I started learning Aikido at an early age to defend myself. I have always been kind of a pacifist in that I never wished to harm anyone but didn’t mean I would let them hurt me. So I chose Aikido since it was about defense rather than attack like Karate or other disciplines. What I learned helped me to defend myself from the bullies who learned to go pick on easier targets.

I am currently a Yondan (4th degree blackbelt) in Yoshokai Aikido and while I still won’t instigate a fight I am not afraid to defend myself if the need arises, and it has upon a couple of occasions throughout my life. As a Buddhist I value all life, including my own, and I have learned to defend myself and my family because I believe that it is irrational to depend upon others to do it for you.

So in what ever way you can, protect your life and those of your loved ones and don’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe.

~ Mike


edit: I really should proof read these things more carefully

I've seen Aikido in action, and I need no convincing as to it's effectiveness. I think that there's a lesson that's available with almost any martial art, visible through the lens of any personal philosophy or religion, and that would've that actions have direct consequences. Nothing can protect you from the effects of the things you do in this world. Everything you do effects the people and things around you, and someone who really puts thought into the concepts and philosophy behind self defense, in any form, will find this as a truth, be it a primarily defensive art like Aikido, to a more aggressive form such as Kempo.

that all the way through the 5 different elementary schools, 3 middle schools, and 2 districts i layed out all the people who sought to harm me useing only my hands. when i look back on it i find that breaking all those noses and dislocateing shoulders was easier than it would be now, as due to medication its harder to go into that rage i always used to go into and my enemies are stronger. i dont take the medication anymore but the effects are still there, hopefully theyll go away by the time i finish HS. i also remember enjoying it, all that fighting, the adrenaline, and the smell of blood. ive softened a bit since then, and i hate it.

You, good sir, have just described any martial arts teacher's worst nightmare. That sort of blind, endless rage is entirely antithetical to the cause of personal and civil defense. Even the most brutal, merciless styles teach that a lack of reasonable self-control and the gross application of disproportionate violence and aggression will land a practitioner in a situation he cannot escape from, no matter how fit or skilled he may be. I say this for your own good; such mindless aggression will only be your downfall.

not like i just pound on them, you gotta dodge, roll, jump, spin, and use the environment to your advantage, like chairs to heads and smashing heads against the walls and floor, i mean when your oppenent looks like the incredible hulk smashed into a 10 year old, you dont just wail on em, you use their weight against them, and when you fight to defend yourself, you dont wamt to just win, theyll just keep comeing back,no you want to make sure they get the message, so they dont come back, so they and others dont get any ideas, now dont get the wrong idea, i dont kill people, that would be counter productive, i mean people havent tried to fight me since seventh grade, and while everyone in my current HS is nice, certain unsavory characters stay out of my way.

i dont fight mindlessly, just brutally.

There's a little more to it than just knowing 'how' to fight. Bullies are one article, and I won't deny that making an example of one can keep others in line, but when you get out of highschool, things get a little more complex, and that kind of over-brutality can be a detriment. Take this situation a buddy of mine got into for example:

My friend, a street-taught fighter and a good one, who I've sparred with on many occasions, was at a bar, watching a football game, and had imbibed a good deal more than he usually did. So, when his fellow fan slapped him on the back a bit harder than he would have liked, he took a little offense. The way he reacted, though, was far out of line. You see, he too had been bullied throughout school, and had come to a similar conclusion about bullies; make an example out of one, and the rest will take notice. So, with the help of liquid courage, he set out to make an example.

His 'bully' was a United States Marine, and my friend got his face turned into taco meat. The whole situation could have been completely averted if my friend had A. Skipped on that last beer, but mostly B. Simply said 'not so hard, bro,' or something along those lines, instead of rushing into a situation he couldn't win.

Sounds like someone's not really thinking past tomorrow, doesn't it? Sure, Ria, sometimes letting loose and tearing off in the arse of someone who's bullying you or "giving you crap" is somewhat gratifying... in the moment... the thing to remember is (and I'm speaking from years of experience, here); nobody actually wins a fight... one guy just loses a little bit more than the other. And, you know, when you're young it's easy to ignore that immediate pain that comes from fighting but (also speaking from experience, here), trust me, you will feel that pain more and more as the years go on and, once you get to the point where you're not necessarily "young" anymore, you're definitely going to feel every single one of those fights from your younger days and think to yourself; "Damn! That hurts!" as you snap-crackle-and-pop your way out of bed in the morning.

Anyway... as to self-defense (and to wander away from my soap box)... I've been a martial artist for most of my life... started at around 9 yrs old with Shotokan, have studied bujinkan dojo togakure-ryu ninjutsu, Chinese Kempo, Shao-lin Five Animals, Marine Corps Martial Arts, and various others along the way but, in the end, took the "Absorb what is useful" approach from Bruce Lee's Jeet Kune Do and kind of developed my own "non-system" of "practical combat/self defense"... It's worked for me more than once and, even more importantly, it's worked for my own daughters and other folks I've trained with over the years... The first tenet where my "system" is concerned is that, in most cases, physical altercation is almost always avoidable if, by no other means, than simply ignoring the "bully" and just walking away. Words are just words, after all, and what most bullies really want out of you is your reaction... Take that away from them by not reacting and you've already won. *winks*

good thing i dont plan on drinking any alchahol ever, and im not some hard head, i dont start fighting just because i dont like something, there has to be an obvious intention to do me harm, because that means someone wants me out of the picture, or wants something i have, and i dont take that kindly.
a slap on that back could be taken the wrong way yes, and i understand the meaning of your story, and my bad mood this morning may have made me seem like an aggressive guy that freaks out on anyone who looks at me the wrong way. while i fight in such a way that seem unorthadox, im not one to let anger control me anymore than i would let another person control me, because while both can influence my thoughts and actions, neather can dictate what i do.

Good on you.

Now, while the ethics and philosophy of self-defense are vitally important topics, I would rather enjoy hearing the various methods of mayhem that are out there. Are there any specific techniques you prefer, or find particularly useful?

I, personally, find great use in a good grasp on anatomy. Just an example, but knowing just where a man's spleen is (lower left side of the body, under the floating ribs) can mean the difference between a successful escape from a whole manner of nasty techniques (triangle choke, rear naked choke, and a guillotine choke, just to name a few) and possibly ending a fight outright, and ineffectually flailing as your opponent squeezes the life out of you.

Also, I would love to get other opinions in here. Don't be shy!

i suppose for me, knowing where the soft parts are, how far parts are supposed to bend, the use of unconventional weapons such as chairs and silverware, the use of the environment, and various escape techniques such as useing the back of your head and useing your captor as a sheild, fighting dirty doesnt hurt eather crotch kicks and throught jabs.

I'm generally passive...

but, back to that part about reactions...

from my experience, bullies aren't too keen when they fail to get one... and I happen to not flinch in practically all occasions where I am aware of my environment(ergo awake; and in a semi-light area. sounds not too important, I've selective hearing and can adjust my focus through headphones).

otherwise I'm roughly 5'10" and built like a twig.
luckily I have a fairly high pain tolerance
...but more importantly, I know how to fence

while most see that as a disadvantage in cases where there is no weapon, it is not; what I obtained from fencing is a keener balance, discipline, and the insight to know how to predict motions to dodge out of the way.

If confrontation cannot be avoided, than it is key to be able to move out of harms way; let them tire themselves out.

In your typical encounter the aggressive person may become frustrated by missing, and frustration leads further to sloppy mistakes. Keeping a level head is ideal, it allows you to 'calculate' events and make predictions.

no system is 'perfect' but, ultimately, the idea is to avoid fighting altogether

....Just figured I'd pipe in since this caught my eye.

-T_O