...but the nuts and bolts of it go something like this: All cows have a condition referred to as reflexive hamburgeritis in which their bodies produce a toxic chemical that, if not expelled in the form of a 'moo', would eventually cause their legs to fall off.... Basically, cows moo to avoid becoming 'ground beef'.


Why don't ducks fly upside down?

So their brains don't fall out.

When will I ever reach 500 posts?
I wanna be a fixture!!

Let's see, according to the oracle, you'll reach 500 posts in conjunction with the next penumbral lunar eclipse... soooo, February 9, 2009.

Oh, and you're already a fixture... we just haven't received the shipment of business cards that would identify you as such, yet.


When will Olan ever get around to installing the official Red Dragon Inn coffee maker in the Vault?

would require a few things to happen first. To begin with he would have to select the best coffee in the world, nothing is too good for the wonderful staff here at RDI... which means he would have to travel all over the world trying different coffee's out, learning advanced coffee making techniques, avoiding tribes of cannibals and occasionally getting laid up by bouts of Montezuma's revenge. Once the coffee has been selected he will have to go through a huge fund raising endeavor in order to buy a life time supply of it. You'll probably see Olan sitting on street corners, all over the internet, on billboards, at ball games, and perhaps even at large festivals and political gatherings selling RDI t-shirts. Once he has amassed enough funds to buy the coffee, he will need to get the coffee machine. It is highly unlikely that there is currently a machine capable of making the coffee up to RDI standards. So Olan will have to go back to school in order to get a degree in engineering so that he can create a plan to make his own ultra high quality coffee maker. Once that is done he will have to install it, hire some poor high school student at miniumum wage to run it... and then... he'll have to get all the necessary assessories to coffee: Mugs, swizzle sticks, creamers, sugar, and whatever else goes with coffee... which will also require vast amounts of research into which are best, and hopefully he will not find that the best type of creamer doesn't go with the type of coffee he selected or else the whole process will have to start over completly.
Of course by the time all of this is finally done, perfect coffee and assessories have been gathered and are being roasted in utter coffee euphoria... the staff at RDI will decide that coffee is so last year and that this year's drink is tea... and I imagine you know where this is going...
Poor Olan...

How do some people get their houses to smell so good all of the time?

Eol, don't ask the querstion if you don't want to hear the answer



It's a little known fact that a lot of builders are offering whole house smellum good receptacle packages in new builds now. The following are just a few examples of the scents you can choose from

"Better Than Sex Cake" for the kitchen

"My Crap Don't Stink" for the bathroom

"Heaven's Just a Sin Away" for the bedroom



what was the original thought process behind opposable thumbs?

That you could pick your nose with 2 fingers instead of one...

Why doesn't money grow on trees?

Money doesn't grow on trees cuz squirrels would eat it.



who is the REAL ROTS??

...is actually a disembodied, cybernetic brain that's kept floating in a Claussen pickle jar full of lime jell-o, in a secret sub-basement at Wright Patterson Air Force Base. The brain itself was discovered amidst the now 'infamous' UFO crash near Roswell, NM in the 1940's and, originally was presumed to have been ejected from an extra terrestrial's cranium upon the craft's impact with the earth. However, it was later discovered that all of the E.T.s recovered from the Roswell crash did, in fact, have their noodles completely intact, brains safely locked inside. After years of intensive study, it has been determined that the 'entity' now calling itself Ruler of the Shadows (or RotS, as the case may be) was actually the result of a piece of the crashing spacecraft's thermonuclear popcorn popper being ejected from the craft moments before impact and colliding with the skull of a common, longhorn steer.... or something like that... ummm... i can neither confirm nor deny the existence of UFOs, aliens, or alien/bovine hybrid technology at Wright Patterson AFB something something something...

Who is the real Lys'Khala?

Some kid... claiming to be older than they really are Hiding in there parent's basement...



Who is the real Grugg?

Grugg is the Osmond they banished to the wilds of Canada because he inherited the lots of hair gene instead of the lots of teeth gene.




Who is the REAL Eol?

...the "real Eol" is either a figment of the world's collective imagination -embodying all of the psychosis and mental illnesses we all have but are afraid to own - or the bastard half-brother of Lucky the Leprechaun - who never so much as made into a Lucky Charms commercial, let alone onto the front of the box because, rather than using his rainbow magic to escape the children chasing him, he used it to create advanced weaponry with which to blow the wee-bastards ta kingdom come - the jury's still out on that one. Film at 11.


Why not?

A henhouse. (Ha!)




An Osmond? Really?

reely reely

Uh...forgetting something?

why did Grugg get a pink light saber??