Totally agreeing with Kriea here re: the boyfriend. If he's overstepping his bounds and deciding stuff for you without your consent, then clearly he is not worth keeping as a boyfriend; first it's characters, then could be finances, names for the children, where the house is... not saying it always goes that far but it can just spiral.
"To love one another is to walk through life together and to choose the path that is most beneficial to the both of you." To elaborate on that, it requires understanding between both sides. If he wants a semi-submissive girlfriend that he can decide things for, and you don't want that role, then that's not your fault and the relationship shouldn't be pushed forward.
Of course, the best thing is to just talk about it. If you don't like something, tell them if you haven't already.
That aside, to me, the most important thing is to play characters I can be comfortable with. That's why I tend not to play male characters myself; I usually don't feel comfortable about it, and that's my own reason.
I'm totally agreeing with Kriea's point about how race/gender are more like guidelines in D&D. The game is making a book or movie. Books and movies are more interesting with a variety of characters that don't necessarily follow externally placed expectations.
There's a reason why 'outcast' character's aren't out of the question, as long as they're done well