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Keeper of Dragons Devil's Advocate Karma: 59/18 2581 Posts
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Step 6
Read Step 6: "If you got this far you are an IDIOT!!! Never attempt to bathe a cat on your own; call the professionals listed in your phone book now or dial 911 if you have already started this step prior to reading it."
Posted on 2008-04-21 at 12:54:54.
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Merideth Muse-i-licious RDI Staff Karma: 186/13 3273 Posts
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Step 7
Ignore step 6, it's your cat and you are gonna bathe the dang thing, without police involvement.
Proceede to grab bottle of Herbal Essense Shampoo and lather cat. Get distracted by the sensual smells coming from the bottle and decide to wash your own hair while screaming in sweet esctasy.
Posted on 2008-08-04 at 18:00:33.
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ruler of the shadows Resident Karma: 11/20 491 Posts
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8.
rinse you and the cat off
Posted on 2008-09-04 at 13:24:56.
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Lyskhala Kohai Karma: 80/28 3600 Posts
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step 9
disinfect and apply tourniquet to arm
Posted on 2008-09-04 at 15:46:16.
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ruler of the shadows Resident Karma: 11/20 491 Posts
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0.0
10. Turn water as hot as it will go... and sterilize the cat...
Posted on 2008-09-04 at 23:32:35.
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Eol Fefalas Lord of the Possums RDI Staff Karma: 475/29 8865 Posts
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Yoiks
11. Scream in agony as cat goes ballistic and climbs you like a christams tree.
Posted on 2008-09-05 at 16:31:03.
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ruler of the shadows Resident Karma: 11/20 491 Posts
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step 12
Finally treat your new wounds... you Are now finished bathing the cat
Posted on 2008-09-06 at 07:09:40.
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Lyskhala Kohai Karma: 80/28 3600 Posts
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EXCUSE ME!!
This happens to be MY thread and I will say when the cat washin' is over.
the cat washin' is over
Posted on 2008-09-08 at 11:25:48.
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ruler of the shadows Resident Karma: 11/20 491 Posts
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Well...
I beat you to it.. .The cat... was just sterilized... I'ma gonna say its done... cause I call em like I see em...
so what's the next topic?
Posted on 2008-09-09 at 16:30:41.
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Lyskhala Kohai Karma: 80/28 3600 Posts
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<><><>
how to change a diaper (baby, not adult)
Posted on 2008-09-09 at 17:05:10.
Edited on 2008-09-09 at 17:05:40 by Lyskhala
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Eol Fefalas Lord of the Possums RDI Staff Karma: 475/29 8865 Posts
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Step 1
Find a stinky baby!
Posted on 2008-09-09 at 17:14:05.
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Lyskhala Kohai Karma: 80/28 3600 Posts
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Step 2
gag
Posted on 2008-09-09 at 17:17:42.
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ruler of the shadows Resident Karma: 11/20 491 Posts
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step 3
Upon finishing gagging, without removing the diaper; try to determine which of the orifices is causing the foul odor.
Posted on 2008-09-10 at 05:40:34.
Edited on 2008-09-15 at 23:33:52 by ruler of the shadows
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Eol Fefalas Lord of the Possums RDI Staff Karma: 475/29 8865 Posts
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Fowl odor? Did the baby eat chicken?
Step 4: Upon identifying the offending orifice, gather together a pair of tongs,some rubber gloves, a garden or fire hose, a facemask, and a tarp. (Do not leave the baby unattended during this step... you'll end up with a much messier baby or one that's missing all together.)
Posted on 2008-09-15 at 18:57:40.
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Grugg Gregg RDI Staff Karma: 357/190 6192 Posts
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Step 5
To remove the "fowl" odour, use the assembled tools to remove the chicken from the room, then return to the baby and wonder how a chicken got involved.
Posted on 2008-09-15 at 19:15:28.
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