This is from Dragon 216 (april 95) pg31
If I Only Had a Brain (Illithid's Lament)
(sung to the tune of the other song by that name)
I could while away the hours
polishing my powers
inflicting lots of pain
But I've nothing in my tummy
some gray matter would be yummy
if I only had a brain
I would start out with a mindblast
That always takes 'em out fast
Their intellects I'd drain
Now my chops I'd be lickin'
Some may say it tastes like chicken
If I only had a brain
Oh I can tell you why
Although it hurts me to the very core
In the past I'd eat those tasty brains galore
Now I'm too fat to use the door!
Now in order to get thinner
Just a lobe or two for dinner
This diet is insane!
But the day I am slimmer
I'll set my biggest pot to simmer
And I'll have myself a brain!
Hope you liked it. Have others will post on request.