Ok I saw this today on Facebook posted by another Innmate, I'll not reveal his name, So here it is Enjoy. Or not
((Disclaimer: This is intended to cause laughter and a smile or two. It is not intended to piss anyone off ))



MAN RULES
AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN
FINALLY, the guys' side of the story. ( I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.)

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH. IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS.. PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...

PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH...

PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH, BECAUSE ITS TRUE!

I have now done as asked and have passed it on to the Inn

You'd think this would be easy to remember.

The only add to this is:

A man finds a woman and hopes she doesn't change, but she will.

A woman find a man she hopes she can change and he won't!

Old Bear Wisdom!

sigh. You guys just ... sigh.

I think I like rule number 1.

Women Rules!!!

1. When crying occurs you caused it and should fix it. Perfect time for a gift.

2. Watching Star Trek or any type of non-romance movie/ T.V. show should also be rewarded in a gift.

3. The toilet seat prefers to be down. Gravity; any questions?

4. When we ask if we are fat, we are looking for a "NO I love you just the way you are" answer.

5. Cindy Crawford cuts her hair why can't we?

6. We are not always thinking of you.

7. We are not always looking for the perfect gift... some gift is better than no gift, and we realize it is the thought that counts.

8. Our Cats truly are special friends.

9. Shopping is not a sport, it's an adventure.

10. We value your opinion on our outfits and perhaps you should ask for direction when you are dressing.

11. Wearing the same clothes because they are on top of the pile is not acceptable.

12. If we had enough clothes or shoes then why are there so many stores?

13. When we ask for something we want it then!! Don't wait for a birthday, etc. you may for get what it is that we want.

14. If you cant be expected to hit the toilet, we can't be expected to find the oil.

15. When the lights come on in the car, we let you know when we get around to it.

16. Three pairs of shoes in not a selection, its a crisis!

17. Boots, old tennis shoes, and grass shoes are not adequate shoe choices.

18. We don't believe you when you say you'll be right home.

19. Yes and No are not answers, you are not on trial and we are not your attorney.

20. We remember what you say regardless of how long its been. Why can't you?

21. Saying what you think we want to hear gets you in more trouble! Stop while you are ahead.

22. There are no good sports.

23. Why can't you ask for directions?

24. Why can't you follow directions?

25. How can we be expected to tell you about our day in just 30 seconds when it took all day to happen?

26. You too can order Pizza.

27. Chinese Food is a meal.

28. Chips and Dip are NOT a meal.

29. Why don't you know all of these rules?

Thank you for the reply............We rest our case!

His gaval strikes the wood pad and he declares a Mistrial

Nice rebuttal Teller..............

New Case:

Do women want to be treated as equals or treated special?

Yes.

*evaporates*

Of course we should be treated... constantly, lots of treats!

You don't have to treat women LIKE we're special because we ARE special. <3

Sigh............
We know...
We know!