Great Idea... I love it can I get some ideas on puniments.. i raise a two year old so all i can think of is corner

Some of her points may be repeated here, but this is another perspective:

First of all, Moria. YOU have to set the tone, the background, more important, the rules! If you have gone to the effort to create an interesting scenario, the players need to put some effort into making it enjoyable also. Unfortunately too many GMs start a game just because they want some friends to gather and have fun, then they lose control (and enjoyment) to the player(s) whose only goal is to see if they can control the game with their character. To these players, its not about fun for all, it's about taking the control away from the GM. It's rude and wrong, but sometimes it's just that simple.

The "dueling GMs" (in their own respective games) would probably not put up with what you seem to be allowing. They would want the respect and lack of "internal bickering" to which they themselves are subjecting you. If they can show you this lack of respect, they simply won't see it if mentioned to them (lots of experience with this sort of behavior).

If you have been GM other games for 8 years and haven't learned to say any or all of the following, it should be first on your list:
"Hold it."
"This stops here and now."
"Now, we play, but with MY rules."
"We'll discuss this AFTER the game. Take notes"

You don't need to be a dictator. As DM/GM of ANY game, you can listen to a few statements initially, but YOU need to stop further discussion until after the session. Let them know before you even start, every time, that if they have problems, they need to learn to do a few things (it is not up to you to do all the writing):
0. (if applicable) You are relatively new to this and may make mistakes. You would appreciate any helpful suggestions(not dictations).
1. State their concern -- once. No reasons, no discussion. That can be done later. YOU will make the decision on all disputes in the game.
2. Write it down for further dicussion later,
IF it is necessary.
3. Continue the game as if the issue did not arise.
4. Discuss the issue(s) after the session. THEN if yo want to change or compromise, inform them you will do so from the next session on.
5. End the game immediately (no experience points) if:
They persist in dragging the issue out, or
If they cannot abide by #1, 2, and/or 3. Do not do #4 until they can do #1, 2, and 3.

After a few times, most get the message, and you don't have to use step 5. Also, you will "weed out" the players who want to take control of a game with their characters, but don't want to put the effort into GMing one themselves.

Discussion is great for a game, but there are times when a player or players just want to make their point, and/or "want the game to go their way or it won't be interesting". If these players keep on with this argument type, you need to decide whether or not it is in the best interest to allow them to continue.

One thing to remember: If you do not finish a scenario, it is not necessarily a failure on your part. There are other people and other factors involved. However, yu can learn from it and maybe keep it from happening again later.

I can go on, but I think I should gag myself for now. I hope this helps. It may not work for everyone, but it worked for me ...

I totally agree...

Since I play RPGs... 1980.. My GOD I feel OLD

I apply the following rules...

The Books are references and guidances not the Rules

I work my A... to provide a good & enjoyable gaming session therefore I AM THE RULES.* without being a dictator.

1) I generally allow any questions or shorts validations of a rule then we may have a few exchanges but after I made my ruling it is final. THE DM IS ALWAYS RIGHT. All of my players will quickly prompt this fact to any arguing element. You can point out this fact to your player and soon they will be supporting you when a problem occurs. It is best for the game!

2) If a player want to raise a technical issue, he must be prepared. He has to research his case before I pause the game. He can't say this spell works that way without any support or being ready with the spell description in hand. For anything else my judgement & experience will do as well.

3) If the matter requires a long and complex evaluation, I quickly rule what makes sense. And I may correct it in a future gaming session or reverse time (Standard DM abilities) and correct the point if it doesn't affect too much the gaming.

4) My Games/My rules, as long as they are applied fairly to all. The quality, the roleplaying and the pure fun of the game should have priority. Your judgement will guide you.

5) I don't have to justify any of my callings. Why.. the plot or action is planned that way... a factor or elements are unknown or nor considered by the players...that FACT must happen it is in the story line...etc. The DM again is ALWAYS RIGHT...

Hope it will be of some help...

Voronaxe

ive been aplying most of everyones ideas and my players are shuting up... for the most part... now i have one more lil problem... for about 90% of the last 8 or so years i have been the only girl in this group... gamer or other wise... now ive been training some of my old girlfriends how to play and thy arnt bad...and the guys in ? said they would love to have them around... now that they are the guys are being very rude to them and are pissing the girls off... and i would hate to quit this game (i have some problems that make me stay home alot alot and so i work really relly hard on my plot lines) but i will not play without my friends... its just not fair to me or the girls.. because when the guys want and new friend player ( and they have added some ppl that should never in their life pick up a RPG boook or paper ... and i dont usally say that) and i let them join to be fair to all... but they treat my female friends like sluts and what not for trying to play... and before u ask no they dont act like that.... PLZ HELP

I have sadness having read your last post. It seems these long standing members in your group have forgotten the core foundations of RPGs. In this case, they seem to be forgetting that, when we gather, the main objective is that everyone involved would have fun.

Being teased is not fun. Nor is being mistreated. And being patronized doesn't feel so good either.

My suggestion would be to talk to your regular gaming (guys) group about how you are feeling. I'd consider talking to them one-to-one on the phone (or out for coffee if that's not too weird). You seem to have a long history with them (8 years is quite a while) so hopefully they'll hear your concerns.

Otherwise, I'd say you need to make a choice: Either stay with the guys you've been gaming with for a long time... or jump ship and start something new with your girlfriends, adding guys to your group as you go.

Personally, if I were you, if the guys don't hear your concerns and your girlfriends are keen on playing, I'd jump ship and start something with the girls.

Hope this helps!

Ayrn

I talked to them all.... I also warned them that im braking the rule that anything outside of the game will be held inside the game... they can stop it or their CHAR.s will pay as well... ill tell yall sunday how it works out